Stop hiding. There is no point.
Hiding stems from anxiety, trauma, and the fear of not being in control. It is based on the idea of controlling other people’s reactions, and that is an illusion any day. You cannot control how people will react.
And you cannot safely live a fulfilled life without harm to your soul, mind and eventually body, by hiding who you really are.
In fact, most of the time people already know who you are. And the ones who are meant for you, love you for it. They find you interesting, courageous, inspiring, or refreshing!
You will never convince the others.
The ones who thought you weren’t right, not up to their standards, not good enough, not expert enough, not mature, pretty, appealing, smart, professional enough. So stop trying to gain their approval and acknowledgement! You’re never going to get it.
I’ll share an experience from my own life so you can see if you relate.
For the longest time, I had a deep-seated fear of sharing that I am a holistic healer with my professional corporate environment. I had this irrational thought that I would never be booked again, because people would not take me serious anymore. As if sharing this part of me would somehow diminish or erase all the other, more acceptable qualification I have.
I’ve been a holistic healer while I ran global software rollouts. And knowing about energies, seeing behavioral patterns, knowing my own strengths as well as helpful techniques for desperate sponsors, angry clients, and anxious people on my teams, has helped me tremendously in leading those projects to success.
I’m not suggesting that you run around and tell everyone about your secret bedroom fantasies, or give your boss the unfiltered version of your opinion of them. This is not a call to be disrespectful or let go of healthy boundaries.
But I see too many women – and men – hiding a big part of their personality for fear of being called „too much“, „too soft“, „too aggressive“, or „too… [fill in the blank]“.
It is time that you bring your full value to this place you call work! And despite what mainstream leadership training and project management seminars want to make you believe, the true value you bring is not in creating files and registers, implementing procedures or even having two yearly 1-1 appraisals with your team members.
All of these are helpful when they support the smooth operation of the people collaborating to create results together. But it’s your warmth, your clarity, your doggedness, your passion, your human-ness that will fill this construct with life, and inspire your team to go the extra mile.
So stop hiding, show your personality, and step into the power of being you! If you want some help with that, send me a DM on LinkedIn or schedule a clarity call